Go with the Flow
by CellCloneBot
Summary: Tatewaki' conclusion about Ranma and Osage no Onna (female Ranma) causes a random chain reaction of Kodachi losing her ribbon, Shampoo losing a delivery, the Cat Cafe burning down and dividing the characters to battle about a soup. Random, unpredictable.
1. The Reaction

**Go with the Flow**  
  
In the Kuno residence, inside the protection of a tall wall and surrounded by a moat, Tatewaki sat in his room filled with pictures of a blue haired girl, Akane, and a pig tailed red head girl who he referred to as his "Osage no Onna". He had bought the pictures from the covetous sister of Akane, Nabiki.  
  
"Nabiki," Kuno smiled, "she is underhanded in how to make the most profit. I should listen to the radio soon."  
  
Kuno lost his smile and pulled out a black marker from his dark blue sweater.  
---  
"It cannot be!" Ahead of the moat, his sister, Kodachi, heard from the woods where she in her teal leotards broke boulders with her gymnastic ribbon. Her brother's scream from inside the house caused her to lose her ribbon that shoot out into the sky.  
---  
"My ribbon is gone!" Beyond the Kuno wall, Shampoo was delivering some ramen on her bike as her spokes stopped when a handle of a ribbon shoot between them. Her bike stopped and she flipped over the handle bars. Rolling with her order, the carrying case cracked open and spilled the order on her.  
---  
"Order be late, ok!?!" Nabiki shouted into the phone. Akane rushed into the dining room and hopped next to her sister. With her hands, she rolled them in circles. With a hand over the phone, Nabiki waved Akane away. "Wait your turn, something is developing here."  
  
Stomping away with her hands at her sides, Akane passed the kitchen to hear a radio promotion to say something stupid when the phone rang. Her eldest sister, Kasumi, tried to maneuver around Akane who jumped on the spot listening to the radio.  
  
"Akane," Kasumi asked, "could you please be the girl who mother had always wished for and play outside for a while? I have to try to make some special soup for father."  
  
"You constantly bring up mother when you want me to do something!" Akane stated as she opened the kitchen door to go outside. She suddenly slammed the door as Ranma tried to get in through the entrance. "Can you be less predictable and cliché?"  
---  
Ranma was quiet unprepared for the impact of the door and wandered off with starry eyes and drool running out of his mouth. He fell into the Tendo's pond activating the curse to turn him into a red headed girl. Happosai heard the splash of water from his room, and immediately appeared to fumble Ranma to receiving a kick to the sky.  
---  
A crash through the ceiling of Ucchan's, an okonomiyaki shop owned by Ukyö, Happosai landed face first into the grid that has been made into the front counter.  
  
"My face!" Happosai screamed. Ukyö twirled her huge heavy spatula to lift Happosai from the grill and flip him on his back to the grill. "Ahhh…" he released a sigh of relief. Flames started to lick the back of his small frame as his purple jump suit burned. "Water!"  
  
He ran out of the shop securely surrounded in fire. Ryöga entered after Happosai left and walked up to the counter. His quick glance to the counter where Happosai had landed transformed into a long gasp as he pointed at it.  
  
"Oh, he landed on some okonomiyaki," Ukyo mentioned and in moving them, Ryoga held onto her spatula. He released his red pulsing hands. "Careful, everything is hot."  
  
"Don't you see what I see?" Ryoga asked. "This okonomiyaki has the face of the Buddha, and as another sign, his glorious ass!"  
  
"You're an idiot." Ukyo pointed out as Ryoga laughed hysterically to what he had found. "But your gullibility shows me that his is a marketable venture."  
---  
As a one foot ball of flame, Happosai ran around the dusty streets but stopped to watch a television in a store window showing an erotic commercial. In the Ad, a brown haired woman lathered her hair.  
  
"How sweet!" Happosai said.  
  
"This shampoo is for you!" The Ad suggested. Happosai had a small crowd around him wondering what to do, but the mindless almost blind Mousse ran up and hugged him.  
  
"I knew you were for myself, Shampoo!" Mousse said. "Feel the warmth of our love!"  
  
"Excuse me," Happosai said. Mousse held him out with one hand and with the other put on his large round glasses.  
  
"Do you have any idea that you are fire?" Mousse asked.  
  
"It has been cycling through my thoughts." He attested. "Do you agree for us to run around in an erratic fashion until something happens?"  
  
"Then that is our satisfying term," Mousse dropped the old man and ran through the crowd.  
---  
In the kitchen, Kasumi looked at the mess of spilled contents and random pots topped on each other waiting to fall over to create enough a large mess. Akane stood behind her sister, shocked at what happened.  
  
"I'm sorry," Akane said walking over to a stack of pots and over tipping them with a touch. "But, I am determined to make this work." "No thanks, Akane," Kasumi said, "why don't you play along with Ranma."  
  
Akane left with her down casted head.  
  
"Oh my," Kasumi said and left the kitchen to go to the dinning room. She saw Nabiki, who was lying down reading a manga. Ranma was also there in his female form washing himself off with a towel. "What are you reading, sister?"  
  
"I don't know," she answered. "It's English; at least I suspect it to be."  
  
"Try not to waste away your precious youth," Kasumi warned. The phone rung and Ranma picked up the cordless phone from the table. "I need it after to order in tonight."  
  
"Ok," Ranma pressed a button to take the call.  
  
"I'm in love with you!" Ranma heard the voice of Akane over the phone.

"Akane?" Ranma said. He heard a click.  
  
"That is right," an announcer said on the other end, "if you hold on the line to give your name to receive your prize."  
  
"What happened?" Kasumi asked. Nabiki flipped between two pages. Suddenly, Kodachi came onto the scene.  
  
"Give a message to that woman who took my Ranma darling's name. Don't kiss a single more guy, it's going to be important." Kodachi said.  
  
"I don't really understand the story myself," Nabiki said referencing a few pages ahead. "Don't worry, your brother knows."  
  
She then looked five pages ahead and picked up the phone.  
  
"Ukyo," Nabiki said, "do you want some business advice?"  
---  
"What are you doing here?" An old one foot woman said. Kodachi ran in and out of the store crashing Shampoo's bicycle into some tables. It was in the Cat Café, owned by Shampoo's great grandma, Cologne, that Mousse exhibited his unique dilemma. As another failure in life, he could add burning down the café in where his love worked and lived in at the upstairs apartment.  
---  
Genma held his broom with his pudgy panda paws sweeping the outside of Dr Tofu's practice. He was confronted by his master in flames. In the instance of a round weak roar, Genma ran to the side leading himself and Happosai to a tap that was attached with garden hose. His paws went over the tap but he broke it off. His eyes felt down but with an opened mouth he had an idea.  
  
"This is no time to write your stupid little ideas down; you do it," Happosai yelled as Genma who was removing his marker lid with is mouth and readying his wooden signs. "I didn't look up all my friends on the internet and found out that you were the one to help me, jack ass. Get a move on it!"  
  
Genma jumped into action and broke the tap that released a gush of water that pushed his master out of sight. Dr. Tofu came outside to see the destruction.  
  
"I didn't hire you while Kasumi was around, did I?" Dr. Tofu asked and removed a remote from his pant pocket to turn on a television that was visible near them. Donald Trump appeared on the television.  
  
"You're fired." Donald pointed at Genma. Genma left Dr. Tofu though his life would nave be so exciting as it did when he was more directly connected with Ranma, for some reason.  
  
It started to rain.


	2. Tatewaki Kuno

**Go with the Flow**  
  
**Tatewaki, the Blue Lighting Clash of the Dangerous Rocky Mountain Guarded by a Thousand Angry Overtaxed Dragons who as Since Their Days in a Egg Have Been Fed a Large Dose of Violent Satanic Media So You Better Say Away, Pricks, If You Wish Every Damn Second You Are in My Way That It Would Not Only Be a Nickname.**  
  
Tatewaki grabbed his picture at that he was modifying and wrapped it into a blanket. He walked through is bedroom. He ran across the yard. He transmitted instantly over the moat. And he was so quick in seeing his sister that he ran into himself.  
  
They pulled themselves together. He saw his sister with watery eyes looking into the clouds. "You made me lose my ribbon when you yelled."  
  
"Together, twisted sister," Tatewaki said. He put the blanket in front of him. "Could you tell me who you see in this picture?"  
  
He released a corner of it. She looked carefully. "That's Ranma! Wait, when did you go into my room and steal this?"  
  
"You think it's Ranma?" He gulped and released the rest of the female Ranma that he coloured the hair black. Tatewaki fell down to the ground. "You know what this means. Sister, where did you go?"  
  
No explanation, Tatewaki sat in his room cutting up the pictures of Ranma, or as he was hesitant to call now, Osage no Onna, and Akane. Ranma usually had on short shorts, and a white tank top and Akane was usually in her baggy uniform. Touching the heads of both of them on different pictures, he slid them cross from each other with his eyes closed. The radio was on, and he heard.  
  
"I'm in love with you!"  
  
"Akane?" Ranma's reply came from the radio.  
  
"Oh shit, I have been waiting for those words," he uttered turning the radio off. He picked up his sword and put it across his legs. "All of the pictures of Akane have been put on Ranma's body, while all of Osage no Onna's pictures have Ranma's face on them. This is what happened….  
  
'Akane was getting tired of me trying to beat her up, so she asked Nabiki, that bitch, to get me off her back. So Nabiki tells her, "Hey, I know this scam to pull on rich kids who have the eye out for you. It is bullet proof." "What's that," Akane says with a devil grin and rubbing her hands together.  
"We hire this guy," Nabiki says, "This is what will happen…  
  
'You are tired of that rich kid trying to court you; we will hire this guy, a master of disguise. One part he will play your fiancée, as a guy, and the other time he will play a woman who is also attached to your fiancée. So this guy pisses Tatewaki off by having you and a cute girl played by myself. Tatewaki will want to date the Female Ranma and hate the Male Ranma. When this happens I go to Tatewaki, "Hey, how are you?"  
  
"I am split by two women, and that Ranma, jerk, has both of them." He will say.  
  
"I got pictures of Akane and of your Osage no Onna. Pay the price." I will say. Then we take pictures of Ranma working out in a large jump suit and you in skimpy clothes that the female Ranma would wear. We switch the heads and really screw with him.'  
  
"That is what happened." Tatewaki lamented. He picked up his sword and broke it in half. "Damn, why weren't you useful?"  
---  
When he started to walk, it started to rain. Every girl who laughed caused him to shrivel. He walked by down an alley way and saw a charred Happosai with his face in the water flowing down the pine. Running over there, he straightened the man up.  
  
"Ranma and Osage no Onna are the same person." He said.  
  
"Doesn't bother me," the Old man said looking at Tatewaki's arching eyebrows. "As much as it does that he kicked me very hard, and become on fire, and get hugged by Mousse, and ah… he likes to crack his neck."  
  
"Doesn't bother me." Tatewaki responded.  
  
"Good," Happosai drew the outline of a woman's frame in the hair, "my favourite part of female Ranma is her round thighs."  
  
"I'm taking about his beating you up," Tatewaki said. "But, nevertheless, especially the less, I need you to train me to take revenge on Ranma."  
  
"Excellent," and they swore on it with a hooking of their pinkies.  
  
"After Ranma looking time," Happosai ran away.  
"And I was once like him," Tatewaki shook his head and went on his way until he found the burnt Cat Café. "What happened here, old hag?"  
  
She hopped around on top her wooden cane and her long hair bounced up and down. "Because of your sister's, Shampoo did not meet up with Mousse, so he went on his way to find her. On his way, because Ranma or Akane probably kicked Happosai, he landed on Ukyo's grill. Since she decided to flip him…"  
  
"Don't blame it on me, how about Tatewaki's sister again," Ukyo said and she handed out a flyer to a random couple. "Come to Ucchan's for the amazing Buddha findings."  
  
"But my sister wouldn't have caused this, if…" Tatewaki stopped as all the attention was focused on him. "I am definitely an honest innocent bystander in this issue of little importance. So Buddha is upon us, and an old lady's house and business hood is gone. I forgot where I was going. Ah, away from this sorry bunch."  
  
He walked away as they complained about who did what. "Oh Akane, how I have tried and failed to court you as a proper lady. I will not admit failure to be an honourable man, and will continue to do so for my revenge. A scheduled fight with a good training period and trainer should make Ranma and Akane certified opponents for all our honour."  
  
He stopped at an intersection and the clouds parted to show the warming light. His breath was at ease and then a bus drove by a splashed a puddle at him.  
  
"I'm going to do the most underhanded thing I can do." He announced. The bus stopped out ahead and a boyfriend and girlfriend got off the bus and left a piece of paper on the bench.  
  
"I'm in love with you!" The boyfriend said as he allowed his girlfriend to enter the bus first. The bus drove away and he walked up to the bench to see a flyer.  
  
"Oh," he snapped his fingers, "I'm in love with you!"  
  
An old lady with a bucket of water and a spoon replied, "Ain't so bad yourself."  
  
"No," he said taking his attention from the bus, "that is the phrase for a radio call out prize. I set that up after hearing her father was sick and her sister had not been able to make any remedy. So I knew if I gave it to her, she would have rejected the claim, especially what I wanted to hear from her is that she is in love me. So, I sent up a contest with Nabiki so I could hear those words and hear those words. Those venomous words…'  
  
'Nabiki told me that I could hear those words. "Hey, that is close enough. I'm positive with a woman that is true." I did not notice her jokes until now. "I will buy the soup for the Cat Café to make." "And we will hold a fake contest and hint Akane about it," she explained. "She will say the words you want. And I will get my fee." "And your father?" I asked.  
"I'm giving him my family discount." She grinned, and always smiled.  
"But the requirements to serve this," I said.  
"Outlandish as they are, Osage no Onna can fit the bill," she replied.  
"I'm disappointed to be next," I said and she giggled again.'  
  
"Oh, how much she controlled me. I don't want to be next." He admitted. "But I do like her style. She is a cunning opponent in use of her units. Now I know that Ranma or Akane will be heading for the prize."  
  
"But, the Cat Café burned down because I screamed," Tatewaki looked around if anyone was there. He remembered the flyer in his hand. "Oh, it is for the Buddha sightings at Ucchan's and the new prize for the radio broadcasting. How did this happen? Nabiki must have cut back on informing people to pocket more cash." He turned around and had a showdown with his sister.  
  
"Don't kiss Ranma," she said, "the soup wouldn't work without her."  
  
"Not that I want it to work, but your efforts too also don't want it to work," he said from the things he knew, "after what I plan for Ranma, the soup will never work." 


	3. Kodachi Kuno

**Go with the Flow**  
  
**Kodachi, the Black Rose**  
  
Kodachi lied on her back as her favourite weapon of all was lost. Her brother stood by her ranting about something and showed her a picture of Ranma.  
  
"That's Ranma! Wait, when did you go into my room and steal this?" She stood up in a hurry.  
  
"You think it's Ranma?" her brother spoke but her attention was on Shampoo who stood on the wall gloating with the ribbon. Kodachi dashed off.  
  
"I'll deal with my picture stealing brother some other time," and she started to chase after Shampoo dressed in her matching pink with black boarding cropped pants.  
  
"You make Shampoo lose important delivery," Shampoo stated. "You no get back these ribbon, yea, until you place specialty soup from China."  
  
She chuckled, "No way, I wouldn't pay for that slop even if I imported it so I could soak my feet into it."  
  
"That is cultural joke, no?" Shampoo asked.  
"High cultural," Kodachi said.  
  
"Shampoo decide no mountain men have sense of good humour," she stated. Kodachi threw some black rose peddles at Shampoo, but using the ribbon, Shampoo blocked them.  
"It's expensive. It is only served by girl who has only been kissed once. Not never, and not twice. Nabiki said there is one of these, Ranma." "That woman who stole my Ranma darling's name." Kodachi said and saw her own rose petals falling down by her. She yawned and lied down on the wall. "Foiled by my own brilliance."  
  
"The effects are so long, though, since I have accidentally exposed myself to these toxins when I prepare them." She raised up and saw Shampoo's bicycle. "That should speed up some time."  
---  
She rode down to the Tendo's residence, and entered the dinning room as Nabiki was reading a manga, Ranma was giving his information on the phone, and Kasumi finished saying: "What happened?"  
  
"Give a message to that woman who took my Ranma darling's name. Don't kiss a single more guys, it's going to be important."  
  
"I don't really get the story myself," Nabiki said. "Don't worry, your brother knows."  
  
"Now, I am going to have to tell him." She took the bike and went out in search for her brother. On the way, she found a zigzagging person on fire who recognized her as Shampoo. The bike was not so in shape to get away from her so she ran into the nearest shop.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Cologne of the Cat Café asked. Kodachi crashed the bike into a table and ran out of the place. Exiting the back door, she jumped to the roof tops in search of her brother.  
  
It started to rain.  
  
"My brother's radio scheme," Kodachi said. "My brother was mad about Ranma, so much that he went into my room and found a picture of him. Ranma must have won the prize, but since it was for Akane, he would be ill tempered. That means he would…"  
  
Kodachi found her direction and headed for the Cat Café. She saw from the roof top a group of people around the burnt down shop. Her brother was there talking to Cologne, Mousse and Ukyo.  
  
"They must be trying to lay the blame on me, as my brother would have it so much easier to keep Ranma from getting the prize and ruin my reputation as romantically underhanded for having a picture of Ranma darling in my room." She stated and looked at Ukyo handing out a flyer to a couple. "I bet she is with him."  
  
In an explosion of black rose petals she changed to her school uniform of a red neck band, white dress shirt and knee long brown shirk. Her descent down the building was her basic flips and wall running avoiding cloth lines and old ladies throwing out pails of water never realizing that they were sometimes above the cloth lines.  
  
She landed with the proper position that people called athletic though the hands wide open and her chest out was most artistic than athletic. But so was the gush of air coming from the air conditioner causing her to bring her hands to her raising shirt was more random than artist. She stepped off the air conditioner and ran into the masses to sort out the part that got the flyer.  
  
"This Buddha sighting is very cool, but they're no names involved in this," the boyfriend said.  
  
"Can't really see us going to the Ucchan's," the girlfriend said, "but it is a cool new prize since the Cat Café had to drop out because of the fire."  
  
After hearing this, Kodachi returned to the roof tops in search of her brother. She ended up finding him near a bus stop.  
  
She jumped down to confront him. "Don't kiss Ranma," she said, "the soup wouldn't work without Ranma."  
  
"Not that I want it to work, but your efforts too also don't want it to work," he said from what he knew, "after what I plan for Ranma, the soup will never work."  
  
"If Ranma doesn't get the prize," she said, "then I am not going to get my ribbon back."  
  
"What does your ribbon have to do with anything?" He asked. She inhaled deeply.  
  
"When you were inside and yelled, I lost my ribbon that crashed Shampoo's bike, she was delivering Ranma's prize and ordered me to replace the soup or she keeps my ribbon!" She said. "Now you have done so much to conspire against me to cheat Ranma out of his prize!"  
  
"I thought this was about your ribbon." Tatewaki said.  
  
"Are we not on the same page, moron?" Kodachi inquired. "We're on to you."  
  
"So you are with them," Tatewaki stated. "I am with they who are against them."  
  
Genma as a panda stood away and behind them holding up a sign: "Fight!"  
  
The two attack each other and Genma flipped the sign to the other side: "Dramatic Pause." 


End file.
